Nobody likes the idea of starting over having failed at something, unless it comes on the heels of an adverse situation like an abusive marriage. This is for the simple reason that every time it is done it requires more and better resources, better use of time, better planning, better clarity of thought and ability to focus.
Entrepreneurs will tell you of how they had to go back to the drawing board repeatedly just to get a business venture off the ground successfully due to changing demands and shifting targets. But how is one able to start-over when you have failed more than twice?
I believe the secret does not only lie in the sheer desire to have a new lease of life because with time that desire will probably begin to wear off. It is vital to ask ourselves some valuable questions; what are your weaknesses? What are your strengths? What are you passionate about? Do you really need a restart in that area? These are some of the questions that will reposition our efforts, values and strategies in reaching out for a different outcome.
There is something to be embraced about starting over, something exciting about the realization that one will be treading on a new trail, the relief from the wisdom that comes from improved allocation of resources etc. Your past failure has given you the invaluable experience while the grief gives you that sense of invincibleness, but we need to be deliberate about letting these speak into our character and resolve to ricochet.
The need for a restart, suggests that there was failure initially and in addition to lack of resources and know-how, we fail because we don’t plan, we think we have arrived, give up too soon and are afraid to take risks. How then do we successfully execute a restart?
Wipe the slate
As much as the experience is to be kept and applied, what memories in life are still manipulating you today? A lot of us have failed to forge ahead because we cannot stand the possibility of handling failure all over again and cannot forgive ourselves for the mistakes made. Remember you are a better person, stronger and wiser, than the one that failed therefore embrace and trust yourself.
I love how video games work. A game will allow you to apply yourself till you fail, it is up to you to drop the level, so you can pass and in the process, diminish your sense of consummation, or you can hit the restart button and wipe away all data associated with your failure, think of a different strategy and apply yourself. Most of the times the performance is better than the first attempt.
Amid the desire and need to start over, you need to ensure that you have recovered from the shock and disappointment of the previous failure. The process ahead will need traits that you may or may not have such as self-assurance, valor, inner-strength or passion and these do not develop in a day. It is not the beginning of a new book, you have just turned to a blank page and that needs to be well thought before the ink and paper make contact.
I admire people that love change. The fact of the matter is a lot of us do not like it because it takes us away from what is familiar. Life is a string of changing events that will influence how we respond even as we are also changing. Through circumstances you are becoming better, therefore challenge yourself, go up a level in your game, get closer to what it would take to break you. That is how you become better in character.
High jumpers demonstrate this idea well, they keep raising the bar till they cannot beat their personal best, in other words, the last one to FAIL gets the gold medal.
Live in the Moment
You may be resilient and so eager to bounce back. You may be driven by anger and desire to prove a point especially to critics. Whatever you do, do not bite more than you can chew, plan according to what your resources and capacity will allow and know where the support will come from, if need arises.
Plan and face the world again
Take some time to analyze the information gathered about yourself and how you intend to apply yourself. Use the past to inform the present and the present to visualize the future. Work well with time and discipline yourself to accomplish tasks within the prescribed time. Procrastination might creep in because this is a process you have been through before therefore fleetness might not be automatic.
Face the world as a renewed person that you are, I suggest against blowing your trumpet upon your second attempt since you might just be attracting negative feedback if setbacks arise.
Nobody wants to be remembered as one who would easily give up when they die, therefore go out and write your story anew and celebrate your advancement along the way to stay motivated.